Wanted to get out and recreate and give thanks on Memorial Day. Figured what better way than to conquer the Germans* in my own little way by way of a ride to Germantown Rd.
Distance: Right at 20 miles
Weather: Sunny! Not that I could see any of it once I got into the canopy of Forest Park.
Short summary: Decided to try a new route after looking at the available options. Definitely a nice change of pace and scenery in the park, and by taking Holman avoid most of the Livestronging/Team in Training going on.
The up: Not really a lot of up on this ride, which was a bummer as I could use the workout. MUDDY! Wow. Holman does NOT drain well in parts, definitely dismounted and walked around to not destroy the deep spots. Nice steep climb to start off the day with some obvious muddy spots but also spots that appeared normal but were so slick that you literally spin your wheels in place.
The down: The ups and downs weren’t really that distinguishable from each other, outside of the last downhill from Saltzman to 30. Pretty much just a low effort spin otherwise.
Ended up having a post-ride Rocky Mounts rack megafail. Loaded the bike up and went to lock the handle down and had it shatter in my hands! I had been thinking the other day that they could use a better way to microadjust, that the point between too loose and unable to tighten was hard to adjust, but never expected the handle to break as I wasn’t putting a lot of pressure on it at the time. I’ll write it off as a one in a million issue and bring it back to REI and give them one more chance, but the metal handles on my buddy’s Yakima were looking pretty nice the other day… Finished the day with in the sun, cleaning and lubing the bike, sipping on Blind Pig from Saraveza.
 Have only used the rack three times and the handle broke!  My not really trusty steed sunning itself *No Germans were actually harmed
Needed to get out and enjoy the intermittent non-rainy periods over the long weekend. Briefly considered Syncline yet again, but the poison oak was bad last time, can only imagine what it was like with another two weeks to grow and fester. Some quick interwebs research decided to try a piece of trail in the hills outside the land of cheese and meth heads.
Distance: Was a short one, 7 miles
Weather: Overcast, a touch chilly, one brief ‘if you blink you’ll miss it’ period of sunshine. Do mosquitoes count as weather?
Short summary: Nice change of pace and scenery, with a very ‘northwest’ (think: green and wet) feel to it, but this trail needs some love. Wildflowers starting to do their thing. Only saw one other person, so that was a bonus. Kept the ‘number of times I fall fully clipped in’ average consistent at two.
The up: Following a creek and the gully formed by one the entire way, 1/2 mile of fire road gives way to singletrack for the uphill. Some sketch/exposed portions of path barely two tires wide with a hearty fall if you go the wrong direction. Very loose in parts, trail giving way under your foot if you dab. Dry in spots with perfect traction, other spots wet with moss covered rocks with zero traction. Was with the world’s slowest mtn biker so had lots of time to take photos.
 Elevation profile The down: Fun up high, flowy singletrack with grip for days, and enough undulations, twists and turns to keep the smile going. Down low between the wet, the tree covered interruptions, the exposure, etc. was a bit underwhelming – lots of riding the brakes, and with my brakes stopping is merely suggested by pulling the levers and is no guarantee
A couple pics that look like they were taken with vaseline smeared over the lens are below. #iPhone4phonecamcansuckit
 Trees down across the trail  Nice stretch of uphill  Pic doesn't do this justice. Landslide, that section under the root is probably 15 feet before hitting the back wall  Ahh yes, the burgeoning sport of mountain bike hiking  Patch o'shamrocks  Nice visuals
An old college buddy was in town this weekend before he started his new gig, figured as Saturday was supposed to be spring-like that I’d bring him out to Syncline as 1) it would be dry relative to anything else around 2) I like Double Mountain and 3) wanted to check out a few bikes at one of the shops in town that he was going to rent from.
Late start on the day as we had to wait a bit for breakfast in the city at Tasty n Sons (BTW, great hostess, great service, great food, worth checking out). Loaded up the new Rockymount Pitchfork for it’s first ‘further than 5 miles and freeway speeds’ test, into local shop for a rental (their rental fleet consists of Camber 29ers….not bad for $25!), onto the trailhead. Quick change and onto the ride.
Distance: Longer than usual due to world’s slowest rider not being there, but far from difficult – about 11.5 miles.
Weather: Heh. Started off nice and springlike, though a touch windy. Turned into what I can only imagine it feels like to ride into the eye of a tornado. 35+ sustained headwinds, rain, hail, thunder, etc. for the last 4 miles or so. Awesome.
Short summary: Good times with a touch of adventure. Tried a new way, had to bushwack for a bit + the full frontal weather assault finish made for one of those days you won’t soon forget.
The up: Just the usual low speed/enjoy the scenery and bullshitting with old friends climb. Lots of wind, at points you’d had to stop as it would push you off the trail. Pretty nuts, the shaky vid below doesn’t show nearly how it was. Doubletrack/Jeep Trail up the the brown house, left up the singletrack, onto the fire road, got bored of that so turned around and hooked a louie back at the brown house to explore a bit.
The down: Welp, not as fun as it could have been had we gone down Little Maui. Tried a new trail that was fun and flowy for a bit, eventually the trail just disappeared – conveniently right about the time the weather went to hell. Little bit of bushwacking here and there, one banged knee and some racked nuts, couple mile spin down the road, back to the blackhawk.
In what’s become a ritual, post-ride pizza and beer DEVOURED at Double Mountain Brewery. Yes, I’m a sucker for wood fired pizza and it’s a proven fact that beer tastes better after riding, snowboarding or surfing.
 Route overview. Same ol' same ol' halfway with a finishing twist  Elevation summary. Still need to do a hors catégorie climb  Captain Spandex shows how the bright Camber pops against a dark background
Quick, shaky (looks like Muhammed Ali filmed it) vid I took on the way up before the winds got bad…and the rains came…and the hail….and the thunder…
Maintenance ride as I didn’t get to ride this weekend with the Hood Canal shrimp season. Was going stir crazy, the hour-by-hour weather report showed a quick weather window yesterday, had to roll with it.
Distance: 14.08 miles per the phone GPS
Weather: One of those overcast spring days that kept teasing you with a sucker hole of sunshine, only to shut down and go gray again.
Short summary: Muddier than expected. Hadn’t downpoured constantly for a few days, I guess with the trees staring to leaf again what light there is gets filtered, slowing the drying process. I need some cheapie glasses, actually had mud ON my contact lenses when I finished!
The up: Leif Erikson to Upper Saltzman. Low angle, puddle strewn, piles of bagged dogshit – the usual Forest Park ride. The dog cops were actually out giving tickets, not sure for what, assuming unleashed pets? I’m a dog owner but I welcome the ticketing because obviously the place is loaded with irresponsible dog owners, the same type of assholes that caused most of the Southern California beaches to be closed off to dogs. Nods and waves from the running/hiking crowd, that’s always nice given you read about so many places where the interactions are less amicable.
The down: Upper Saltzman to Lower Saltzman to 30 to Thurman. That enjoyable feeling of your tires fighting for, gaining and losing traction. Highway 30 spin to end the day.
 Aftermath
Two quick ride reports (well, reports light on verbs and photos) from the weekend.
First up, Tacoma city ride/bar hopping. Rolled up there to shoot photos of the muay thai fights on Saturday night, dragged the bike along planning on riding the Dash Point trails. I failed massively in my Tacoma knowledge, for some reason thought Dash Point was in Point Defiance and not up in Federal Way so bike ride turned into bar hopping.
This sign seemed out of place/very Route 66 roadside attraction-esque/Trees of Mystery/Drive through tree/etc. as a kid. Now that it’s surrounded by strip mall sprawl and is in an REI parking lot it seems even more out of place.
Two good friends, IPA and my MTB. Harmon IPA and Rockhopper Comp 29er. Sure, I’d rather this photo be a Pliny the Elder and something like a Camber, but hey…
Up early Sunday AM for the ride back to PDX to pick up the womanfriend and a buddy and head to Hood River to hit Syncline yet again. Total shit show* to start followed by world’s 2nd slowest ride ever.
The oaks were in full bloom/yellow ribbon plumage. Of course since everything blurs together with my iPhone camera you can’t see the yellow ribbon that each of these oaks were wearing so this isn’t as funny as I imagined.
Mt. Hood was doing it’s ‘look at me I’m a Cascade volcano’ thing in the distance
Ride ended with a substantial part of the downhill being walked. Found what it appeared to be some fun, flowy sidehilling singletrack that quickly turned into halftrack and rock gardens. Our ability levels weren’t up to the consequences on the right (aka 150′ tumble down 45 degree slope into a creek) even if the Dart3 would somehow absorb some of the hit in a confidence inspiring way. So yup, emasculated mountain bike hiking. Made the Double Mountain Vaporizer and pizza that much better though.
*buddy hit the lever on his hydraulic brake when loading so had to pry the pads apart. Then he had to fill his tires. One valve was broken. His bike was ghost shifting like crazy and rather than just man up he went back to the car to fix. 30 min later I roll down the trail and back to the car to see what’s up and he went to town to get it fixed. F* him, I’m going riding.
Just an average, albeit muddy, ride on the fire roads of Forest Park.
Distance: Around 15 miles. The iMapMyRide profile is wrong since I forgot to turn the thing off and includes a side trip to Ben of Race Peak Performance’s house.
Weather: Typical PNW spring. Pouring, sunny, pouring, hail, rinse, repeat
Short summary: Muddy. Another Forest Park yawner that’d be more fun on a cross bike, though it’s the type of trail that a 29er feels like the right ride as well. The smell of the PNW in spring always brings back memories though, and I do appreciate having a park like that close in, just wish there was more double/singletrack – not that it would have been rideable given the rains though.
The up: Leif Erikson to Upper Saltzman. Low angle, puddle strewn, Team in Training joe cubejockey triathlete runner douche infested fire roads. Everybody you encounter is all nods and smiles though, none of the hikers/runners vs. bikers crap that you see in some places. Piles of dogshit and/or bagged dog shit every couple hundred yards, will be no surprise if they outlaw dogs in the park (not that they’d enforce it…).
The down: Upper Saltzman to Lower Saltzman to 30 to Thurman. More enjoyable than the up due to the mud and feeling the tires lose traction and regain it every 25 yards. Couple mile road spin to give the personal illusion of some semblance of fitness and speed to finish.
 Who sharted?  Most US American's don't have maps...  Yes, I'm digging iMapMyRide
Spring finally (temporarily) sprung in the PNW on Friday, figured I’d best take advantage before another five day stretch of gray+rain pain. Decided to head out to Syncline again as it is in some weird Bermuda Triangle of weather that allows it to stay dry when the rest of the world within a one hour drive are building arks and rounding up two of every animal. As the GF had the day off decided it’d be a good day for her to get out on her newtoher Giant XTC2 courtesy of Fat Tire Farm’s rental sale and get her a first taste of ‘real’ mountain biking (she’s done a few Forest Park yawners, but I don’t think that counts as mountain biking).
Distance: Short, damn short. ~7 miles or so.
Weather: Dope. 65ish. Perfectly clear with a slight breeze to keep you cool on the uphill.
Short summary: Slowest….ride…..ever. When you get passed by 70 year olds out dayhiking….only 1/2 kidding. To be expected though as Emily hasn’t been on the bike much nor ridden any trails since age 7 on a My Little Pony bike.
The up: Nothing like a crawling speed fully clipped in fall before even getting on the trail. Skills. Always forget I’m NOT on my city bike with flats. Dry trails. A bit rutted about 1/2 mile from the infamous brown house. Beautiful views at a pace slow enough to take them in. It took Emily a bit to get into the mentality of it, to settle into a pace that was comfortable for her, and just get comfortable on a bike in non-fire road situations. After she shook off the initial fear/hesitation from doing something new she ended up doing well and enjoying the day. To make it a bit more interesting for myself I’d ride ahead 1/2 mile or so and wait for her to catch up.
The down: Again slow, but to be expected with the n00bidity (yup, that just happened, made up a new word, call Merriam), getting a feel for bike control, where the brakes engage and how much pressure is needed, shifting weight around, counterbalancing, etc.etc.etc.
Post-ride pizza and beer DEVOURED at Double Mountain Brewery aka Cheers – seriously, everybody that came through the door knew the servers, hostesses, etc. Insane pizza if you’re into high heat, wood fired, chewy with char pizza goodness.
Was trying out a new app ‘iMapMyRide‘ and outside of it’s hunger for battery life I’m impressed. A couple screenshots of the type of data it gives you on the free version below.
 Mountain bike walking due to pulling a Schleck  If the sky wasn't blown out you'd see Mt Hood standing tall in the distance. Unimpressed by the massively overhyped camera in the iphone  Posing near the syncline of Syncline  Walking for a second after hitting a pedal on a boulder  Moments of walking interrupted by short bursts on the bike
Preface: these photos suck.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I was too busy having fun riding to try and dig out my double bagged (last phone died from water getting penetrating my ‘water resistant’ bag) phone from my seat bag to snap any interesting photos.
Distance: Not very long as I’m out of shape, but the area has potential for killing hours exploring
Short summary: Cool spot! Lots of options to challenge yourself with the reward of sick views of the Gorge from the top and fun singletrack on the way down. Props to the private property owners that let us use their property.
Spent last week in SF in meetings, which typically means drinking lots of beer and eating the food version of Newton’s third law as applied to a salad – basically the equal (not really) but definitely opposite. Plenty of Patxi’s Pizza, Q, etc. was consumed. While others were carb loading I was carb bloating.
Came back home with the urge to ride, but the biblical downpour I arrived to seemed to put the kibash on the idea of doing any sort of fun rides. Dreading the thought of hitting the yawn inducing fire roads of Forest Park again I decided that I’d head out to Hood River and hit the Syncline area. Due to some weird time/space continuum the weather there seems to be dry(er) than here, and the trail seems to dry out quick.
Drive through the Gorge was INSANE! Waterfalls in full plumage. Waterfall gangbangs, just hot waterfall on waterfall action the whole way. Was nuts. I didn’t take any pics because there’s no way my phonecam could do justice to the scenery.
Showers on the way there. Ominous, stoke sucking gray clouds hung overhead. My exit was 64, hit milepost 60 and the earth shifted, the clouds lifted, siiiiiick. Let’s do this!
First run went halfway up Little Maui, had some technical difficulties, back to the car to fix real quickly. Next run went up the Jeep Trail, about 1/4 of the way up ran into two cool cats Clinton and Andrew. Shot the shit for a few, they offered to let me tag along to show me the way. Siiiick.
The up: Up the doubletrack Jeep Trail, peeped Little Moab for a bit, over here, over there. Think ‘Son of a Gun’ by Nirvana, or at least the first half of the verse and not the chorus since there was no bedroom play. Windy in parts (as in blow you over wind, insane!), touch of mud in spots (not bad at all), beautiful everywhere (spring in the NW).
The down: Fun, flowing, smile inducing singletrack interspersed with filling rattling spots (my guess is due to the Dart3′s lack of any sort of compliance). Forearm burn in parts due to lack of confidence in the fork and shaking the rust off. Only fell over while clipped in twice on some tight switchbacks on the way down. I’m blaming the 29″ wheels and not my skills though….
Long story short: can’t wait to get back up there and explore a bit more. With my consulting gig over I think I’ll go Friday…
 World's cheapest toll bridge? $.75 to cross.  Looking back to the parking lot from the cliffs of Little Moab  The wind was HOWLING straight up the cliffs here, was so nuts  Horrible, non-scale giving photo of the cliffs
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